The Woman Who "Does It All--" Another myth reborn

Last week's mail brought me a copy of my local YMCA's summer programming. The back cover had a picture of a hip mom-woman wearing earrings, lipstick, pink tank top, and boxing gloves. The caption read, "Your kids think you can do it all. Prove them right."

Why is it that we are bombarded with catch phrases and images of women who "do it all," but not men? Have you ever heard of a guy who "does it all?"

Here's Dylan. He works full time, got a promotion last month, picksu p the kids from school and has supper on the table by 6 pm. He's a soccer coach, goes to church, and grills on the weekends. He pays careful attention to appearance--notice how physically fit and stylish he is. He keeps his lawn mowed and won the Best Dad of the Year Award. And he does this all by his 10 pm bedtime! Oh, and he's a great husband too!

Right.

So why do we hold moms to the female version of this standard? Because it is yet another enslaving, unattainable myth to keep women in check, of course.

Let's see...the 1950's woman who "did it all:" Here's Donna. She irons her husband's clothes for work the next day, keeps the bannister free of dust, and vacuums the home every single day with her shiny new Hoover. She prepares home-cooked meals 3x per day. She can't wait for her children to come home from school for lunch. She is a Sunday school teacher, and always has a jello mold ready for the neighborhood parties. She does all this, and more, in heels, a skirt, and a wave in her hair. She is the family's teacher, nurse, referee, cheerleader, and mentor. She is a great mom and wife--she makes her kids and husband proud!

People. Please. This cultural standard/ideal is defined for us and force-fed as if it's a lifestyle we should actually want to lead. Like all unattainable ideals, a revolution comes along and overthrows it, swinging society into a backlash (like the feminist rejection of the June Cleaver image, and the subsequent march to work).

I want to know more about this mythical YMCA mom in the pink tank top and boxing gloves who has to keep up the appearance of doing it all. I really am interested in what she does and if she does it well. Does she ever go on a date to a foreign film and discuss it in-depth with her husband over coffee? Does she have meaningful relationships? Does she garden? Does she cook with creativity and passion? Does she ever hand-write a thank-you card? Does she ever take her family for a quiet hike on a lakeshore? Does she cultivate an inner thought life? Does she read classics? Is she still in love with her man? Does she ever get exhausted and want to tell those around her that she is sick of people thinking she can do it all?

I feel kinda sorry for her.

Hm. It seems all isn't "all," afterall. It seems, rather, that "all" is defined for us as holding down a job (bring in that money), having a family (like a good little woman), and looking good (still gotta please that man!).

I don't think anyone can do it "all." I don't think anyone should want to.

I wonder what the next revolution will look like when this myth is rejected and reincarnated in a new form.