That Time of Year Again

Picking out a Mother's Day card has always been a little traumatic for me. Not only is my family not the "I love you" or the give-you-a-hug-when-they-see-you type, but my mom has always been a bit touchy about Mother's Day in general.

First of all, she hates Mother's Day cards that mention any sort of housework/domesticity, portray a harried mom, or make jokes about how much work a mom does. She hates Mother's Day cards that contain jokes, such as quips about how hard it was to raise me, or how cute and lovable I turned out to be because of her. In fact, she dislikes any Mother's Day cards that draw attention away from her as a person and make her child (ie, me), once again, the focus. On top of this, she absolutely cannot stand any of those mom-friendship cards, like the ones that say "you're my best friend." My mom has always made it blatantly clear that she doesn't think a parent's role is to be their child's best friend, or even friend in general.

Combine this with a general reticence and distate for overly-sentimental sap (which I find to have little meaning anyway), and you've basically excluded every Mother's Day card out there. There are years I have gotten desperate and given her a blank card, with a picture totally unrelated to the spirit of Mother's Day, and written my own message in. There was one year where the only card I liked was from the "Mahogany Collection" (or maybe it was the Ebony Collection)--and while my mom is not racist or even prejudiced, I could see a brief pause as she wondered why the card pictured an African American family and mentioned something about soul jazz.

In more recent years, I've gone with safe cards, like ones with flowery teapots on them and a message simply stated inside. You know, classy yet feminine, implying quietude and individuality instead of gush-n-mush or a chaos of laundry or a blinding spray of pink flowers.

This year, I faced the wall of cards before me, and giving a cursory scowl to those in either direction, marched up and started cringing with each card I read (there may have even been a time I gagged) until I found this year's choice--nice and safe, yet meaningful:

On the outside are a couple of hummingbirds milling about orange (not pink!) flowers, nicely balanced by restful green leaves. The title reads "From the two of us" (safe, because it's easier for me to hold forth to my mom when I have Shawn as my ally--you can't really get mad at your son-in-law for expressing gratitude, right?).

It opens to read "Nothing else can light our way, warm our hearts, shape our dreams...nothing else can touch our lives quite like a mom's love." Ok, this is good, Nice and universal, yet sincere.

Finally, it unfolds to "You bless our lives with a caring touch--we both hope and know that you're loved very much. Happy Mother's Day." Score!! In saying "we hope you know..." I've side-stepped a blatant and direct declaration of love.

Cuz that's how me and my mom roll.